10 Classic Cozy Sweaters

For the past year I've been on a sweater obsession, maybe because I hate cold weather? Or because I've just been trying to find a way to feel warm and cozy in confusing, unpredictable times... regardless of the reason, I began a various sweater collection that I've come to love and am completely anxious to bust out on the days that are gradually becoming chillier (I don't think that's actually a word.) Anyway, here are 10 sweater styles that I can't wait to wear and you should look for...

 1. Sweater Dress (Navy Cowlneck, Forever21)

Made in various styles, the sweater dress is a fashionable, 

sexy option for brisk fall days and perfect to pair with fun-patterned tights

2. Classic V-neck (Black, Mossimo from Target)

This style sweater is lightweight and can easily be worn with a
button-up underneath for extra warmth and style

3. Shawl Wrap Cardi (Marled Gray, Gap)

This piece of knit wear is perfect to throw on over a T-shirt
or thin, long-sleeved shirt when you're running out the door

4. Extra-Chunky Sweater (Light Gray, Shawl Collar, American Eagle)

When it's really cold out, this sweater style will not only
offer a ton of style, but LOTS of warmth as well

5. Classic Cable Knit (Camel, Gap)

This is the most classic sweater style around,
easily found in any color, this sweater can be casually-worn
and looks great with jeans

6. Cashmere Turtleneck  (Light gray, Ann Taylor)

For a more upscale (and more expensive, but soo soft) style,
splurge on a cashmere piece that will never be itchy and will
always be a staple

7. Wide-neck Dolman Sweater (Muted Red, Ann Taylor)

This dolman-sleeve style sweater is perfect to throw on
over a tank and wear with leggings or jeans and gives
you the perfect chunky sweater style

8. Striped Sweater (Navy & White Stripe, H&M)

Stripes are a pattern that will never go out of style,
worn on a knitted sweater, your look becomes classy
and sophisticated

9. Open Weave Sweater (Charcoal, Gap)

The beautiful weaving of this sweater is wonderful
to wear on mildly cold days or chilly days with a
long-sleeved shirt underneath

10. Pointelle Sweater (White, Gap)

Like the open weave, this sweater is better for fall
rather than a snowstorm, due to the thin and open
nature, but it's a sleek, sexy way to show some skin

L'autunno

So far through my entire college career I finally feel like my experience is becoming worth it…it only took 3 years.

      For the first time, I’m loving every second of this semester… sure I’ve had classes that I’ve enjoyed before and other semesters that have been better than others, but this one stands out. Could it be because I’m taking all art classes and Italian 1? Yes, I believe so.

      I’ve savored every second of learning about the intaglio printmaking process which entails a ton of work for one design. I don’t think I’ve ever put so much meaning and thought into a piece before and I probably still wouldn’t have if my professor did not decide to leave the concept of the assignments open and up to us. There has always been an endless list of “do this” “do that” “make sure this is included” etc. but for once, not now.

     Painting has opened my mind in a whole new way. Yes, we have technical assignments focused on value, color, space, etc. but my professor balances this with classes where we just paint with pieces of cardboard interpretively; this I have found to be the most helpful and the most conceptually challenging. I love it.

     Photography has also been just as satisfying. With very few guidelines to our projects, the subjects and concepts are up to us. Photographing a 70-yr.-old toolbox that my grandfather, whom I have never met, owned, has been unexpectedly thrilling. I became so pleased with the material and the prints that it became about much more than just chards of rusted metal.

     And last but not least, Italian has proven to be challenging and fast-paced. Thankfully, there are several Spanish and French cognates which have been helpful, and I’m getting quicker at picking up the language. I still actually enjoy it, maybe because I know in my heart I will actually use this language in its original country.

I’m excited to produce more and more work as the days get shorter and the temperatures get lower. I’ve finally found the sense of feeling freed.

Winter Survival

Well the winter has been mild, maybe the mildest I ever remember, which is nice.. for me at least, maybe a few more days of snow or at least one crazy winter storm would have been sufficient for aesthetic reasons and school closings... but perhaps next year...

After getting my purse stolen out of my car a few weeks ago, I realized one valuable lesson (besides fucking check that your car is actually locked before you walk away), I realized that you can have a million items in your purse like an extra contact case, a first aid kit, a retractable toothbrush, etc. for those "just in case" moments, but none of that really matters if you don't have a remedy for "just in case your purse gets stolen". So it's been an interesting time getting over the fact that these things can happen to YOU. After writing out a list of the items in my purse, filing a police report, and trying to replace the miscellaneous things, I also realized that the items I would normally carry around with me I do use regularly and felt lost without them even though they might seem insignificant, but buying new ones at my favorite and overly-visited store Target (french accent please) made me feel quite better :)

So here is my list of handy, CHEAP ($2 and under) items that not only you will use, but are especially helpful through these winter months, mild they may be:

1. Vaseline - nothing compares to the healing power of vaseline, chapsticks do not compare (trust me)
2. Compact Brush/Mirror - the benefits of carrying this around are obvious.. flyaways and face check.
3. Suave Cocoa Butter Hand Cream - Heals dried winter hands and I want to eat it
4. Johnson & Johnson First Aid Kit - clearly helpful for new-shoe blisters, random cuts and scrapes (but my twist is that I add Neo-to-go Neosporin and I throw in numerous drugs like advil, midol, everything.)
5. Retractable toothbrush and mini toothpaster (for under $1??) - late for class? just excuse yourself for a moment and brush your teeth in the bathroom! works like a charm
6. And lastly for only $1 you can retrieve your summer glow with ELF bronzer (the lid always seems to break off, so from experience I would carry in a plastic bag?)

ALL available at your local Target, happy end of winter :)

Christmas in the country

Well as exciting as christmas usually is, the fact that 3 days prior it was 60° outside made the christmas season a little less merry... I wish I was 8 again getting lisa frank stationary sets and cheaply made bright colored makeup sets...oh wait I still got that one.. I guess really I just miss the thrill of surprises and tradition and beliefs. I'm thankful for all of my gifts this year considering I picked out almost every single one ha.. Santa threw in a few randoms that I'm actually excited about.. Saki bottle complete with gorgeous saki pitcher and cups set and wooden chopsticks and wasabi gift card from my lovely boyfriend....not to mention the daodejing from my aunt, it was an asian christmas but what could be better? Also, a marble mortar and pestle so I can finally start creating my magical herbal remedies... To sum it up christmas was great regardless of feeling old and out of spirit but I guess that's why they make egg nog right?

An example of our oh so thrilling christmas morning...

Autumn days...

Well school is school, exciting at first, redundant later... I do like commuting actually, surprisingly. I like creating my own schedule and getting to run errands, being in charge of my own life and responsibilities for once. The only major change that occurred 5 weeks ago was living in another place, except it didn't even seem the least bit strange or different.. it felt normal. I do enjoy it. The irony of it all is that I created the most beautiful room to live in and yet it's been abandoned the past few weeks... sadly. I miss it and I'll probably return to it soon, but it's been quite a promising experience...

Evenings are often filled with watching the history channel or hgtv, pondering theories and conspiracies, ordering pizza or having a drink... mornings begin when the obnoxiously loud alarm clock goes off at 6:30 am... every day. definitely a downfall, but one I can live with ;) I threw a curve ball in yesterday afternoon and asked if we could go for a walk through the "millcreek woods" which I had never seen before, and they were pretty, especially now when the leaves are falling and changing, it was refreshing and I saw an effing awesome dead tree btw...

We had a serious talk, which started half-jokingly but also confirmed what I thought to be true.  We are both on the same page and not concerned with the traditional life milestones, I mean maybe one day but no time soon... we're so young, we have so much to offer the world ourselves yet and what difference will legally binding us make?

Anyway, with weeks of serious contemplation on a plethora of unknowns... aliens, the universe, the government, withheld information, religion, ancient civilizations, and the list goes on... my mind and my body decided it needed a break, so I got sick, blehh. I'm finally feeling mostly better, not 100% but I gave my body some much needed rest...

Lastly, the most recent news on my "interior design career" is that I'm renovating our upstairs bathroom at home... hopefully once I finish that and get the rest of the house in gear it will be a prime time to be back home, just in time for the holidays...

New school, New season, Old home...

so summer was shitty, far from a gem. it seemed that everyone's sucked for one reason or another, i could maybe pinpoint a few things but others i just don't know what it was... i am glad school started i was ready for once maybe because it's a new school? maybe because i'm having a life outside of school? maybe i just want it to be fall... i usually never want summer to end or school to start but for some reason this year was different.

after the first week of classes I think i'm really going to like millersville... i'm gonna have to force myself to explore and do things for myself and keep up with friendships and relationships if i'm going to be truly happy.. i'm gonna have to force myself to make visits and stay active. goals: SAVE MONEY, visit old friends, make new friends, work out, find new hobbies, help the earth, paint, paint, paint and go headstrong towards becoming an art teacher!

my intro to art ed class is definitely encouraging and inspiring... not all hope is lost about finding an art teaching job. things are looking up and i'm excited for the future and for the fall and all that comes with it :)

Home

So here I am, at home, where my roots began... in a seemingly so distant place from college or millersville or a whole new experience... I'm all settled in, all moved back, all-equipped with a fantastic dream car, my baby convertible which was heaven-sent or law of attracted... either way I'm extremely content :) Of course I will always be dreaming about the future and what is next to come.. whether it be a 'real' job or an apartment of my own someday, possibly shared with my lover? I know there is so much more to happen before that but I'm ready to experience it all...

The summer has been grand to me so far, with a very laid-back working atmosphere and new treasures and people and reconnections with old friends... I love my new job at Star Glazers, it's a great place completely perfect for me.. I can only wish to be paid more and work more, but what can you do... it's rare that you truly love your job :) it's art, pottery, fun, greatness.

Tiff is in Macedonia, half-way across the world and I have taken it upon myself to not only clean her room, but redo it and even switch it with a current storage room. That being said, it's more work than I realized and I'm going to need some helping hands but in the end I'm hoping it will all be worth it... one can only hope.

I'm excited for adventures yet to come this summer, whether it be more summer shows!, a short beach trip, a trip to Nashville :), and exploring my new university, let alone figuring out what I really want to pursue with my life and just how to go about it... definitely lots to think about, but when isn't there?

I'm sure I will write another post soon about the deep thoughts and conversations that seem to keep reoccurring in an attempt to figure out my life philosophy and what I believe regardless of others' beliefs.

Frigid

Considering that the temperatures are about 15 degrees colder than they should be this time of year... my spirits aren't exactly being lifted. As of now I will be finished with Temple University on May 6, 2011. I cannot wait to move home and create my boudoir paradise... just wait til I do and post pics ;) I can't wait to start a new life as well, in a smaller town, at a smaller school, with a more intimate lifestyle. Millersville has a beautiful campus that I'm ready to explore. I have to get crankin on all my work that needs to be completed by the end of school... and there's a lot of it. I am exploring wonderful ideas to create for summer when the weather finally catches up... here they are:

Winter Blues

It seems my mind has forgotten that it can process thoughts and record them onto a computer screen... really I forgot that I had meaningful thoughts at all. My mind has been so full of thoughts that it forgot how to think... which doesn't make any sense unless your thinking has been so warped and overwhelmed.

Anyways, I never really buy into all those minor diseases that are over-diagnosed, for example, SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder, but truly I'm just plain depressed more often in winter. I know it's more than just an acronym, I just miss the earth and the sun and honestly, I miss sweating? I just want to run and wear sandals, bare my legs and arms without a thought of the temperature. I've been stuck in a dream for weeks now. The dream of moving everything I own back into one familiar place that has a new sparkle and appeal, finally finding a means of monetary income, and reuniting with the green grass.

Frankly, I'm all schooled out. After the first week of spring semester, for some reason or another, my body finds everything and anything more important than class readings. It's pathetic. I need a big kick in the butt to motivate me to get up and start being productive and taking better care of myself. I couldn't tell you the last time I exercised or tried to look presentable on a daily basis. Enough of my complaining...

I'm just happy I get the weekends to look forward to <3

Humility

For many reasons I was smacked in the face with a big fist of humility... I couldn't tell you exactly why, but my eyes were opened. Maybe because of the emotional impact of a certain time of the month or maybe because I caught a glimpse of truth. Either way, I've just come to the realization that I need to make myself more aware of the way everyone else around me is feeling... and the way I come off to everyone else. Truly, what is the point of complaining? Or being inconsiderate or not very understanding? Complaining about others or trying to change them is a waste of time, the only thing you can truly worry about or change is yourself... And it's never too late for that.

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Bohemian Classic

HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Bohemian Classic

Trapped

I've never really felt so enclosed and limited in my surroundings... you'd think living in a big city with everything at your fingertips, you'd feel free with endless opportunities... maybe that's how I felt when I first stepped foot on campus... when I transitioned into dormitory living and the college life... but I'm so far past that now. Even in my shared apartment, with my own beautiful room, it's not home. I love being surrounded by family and the constant flow of visitors at my home in Lancaster. And the thrill I get from every email Millersville sends me, makes me that much more excited... Excited to transition again. Excited to receive a hopefully 'accepted' college letter in the mail... excited to have a car again.. and a life and a familiarity with my surroundings. And of course my kitties :) I love keeping the family home clean, I feel like it's my duty. Here, everything becomes a constant competition.

I still have dreams... dreams of travel to far away places and fresh experiences, but I don't want to experience it alone. I know I'll get there someday and that's all that matters.

I'm all ready ready for Fall 2011...

Dandelion Wine

A 5 day week of classes and homework, living in a dirty city, with roommates, secluded in my bedroom of paradise away from friends, family, and my lover always seems like the longest week of my life… 

I live for Fridays. Period. I don’t really care what I’m doing over the weekend as long as I’m with the ones I love, whether it’s concerts, first birthday parties in the ghetto, partying with neighbors aged 24 - 55, or creating a surprisingly incredible viola and guitar duet for ‘Dandelion Wine’.

But this week, I’m cutting it short. 3 day week, it’s about time. We’re entering the 5th week of classes and I have yet to skip a single one; knowing me, that’s a record. So I’m convincing myself that I deserve it.. and with that time I’m going to surround myself with a group of 19-21 year old boys for 2 days at Dewey Beach. A constant 48 hour period. What am I doing? Great question. The things I do and sacrifice to spend time with D. I’m also convincing myself that I’m a GREAT girlfriend…

Cheers… from one crazy weekend to the next, it’s how we survive.

A few reasons why I love H&M...

This past weekend was a lovely little weekend in NYC with my father, sister, and favorite boy :) What was the motivation of this trip, you ask? Well, quite frankly, contribution to my living expenses from my very, very generous grandparents. I am so thankful for their help...
      We arrived Friday evening and socialized with some wine while we were nearly fast asleep at the table. The next day we left around mid-day and ate lunch in Bryant Park and then walked around Times Square, we had a very productive shopping trip in H&M, most definitely one of my favorite stores. Next, we took the subway to the Natural History Museum to find out about 'the end of the world' exhibit, too bad it was called "Race to the end of the Earth", nothing to do with the end of the world, oh my dad and his naivety haha. I was completely worn out by the time we got to the African mammals... struggling to keep on my feet. Afterwards, we took a stroll in Central Park and finally headed back to Prospect Park SW for a wonderful spaghetti dinner which Darry & I contributed to quite a lot.
     We had to wake up early to attend the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church and Choir. That was exciting, I had never been there before and it was an interesting time. We were all more than ready to head home.. from one city to the next.. new york to philadelphia to lancaster in the near future... constantly moving from one place to the next.
     Anyway, the moral of this post is that H&M is a wonderful place to make new purchases :) considering I had no time to try anything on in NY, I was able to visit center city last night with my roommates to go on a little shopping spree, I exchanged some sizes and got a few more things :) It was another fun and productive trip... here are some of my new purchases:

$24.95 - Wool Shortened Pencil Skirt

$14.95 - Flowing, soft tunic

$24.95 (Buy one, get one free)
Shirt Dress Tunic

Resolving Issues

Every day it seems that there is a new 'problem', a new issue or something that needs fixed. Whether it be apartment related, school related, relationship related, future related, etc... but I'm finally starting to feel like all the stress from the brokenness is wearing off and everything is coming together. Cold water turned hot, no internet/cable becoming accessible, closet bar being reattached, leaking toilet finally replaced, leaking shower through the first floor ceiling = fixed, and that's just the apartment, whew.

Financial situations becoming clear and provided for, plans for next year becoming concrete, knowing what I need to do and how to do it, creating peace. What a foreign word to me... peace. Such a solid, releasing feeling. Excitement and joy. Happiness. I'm glad that I have finally reached that point, the point  of feeling secure and routined and planned and reliant and sure. Thankful :)

I'm here all ready?

It's incredible that I'm back in this Philadelphian bubble, how did the summer go so quickly... it's hard to think how much you take for granted when you're in your comfort zone, your home, surrounded by the people you love the most... without much responsibility or care in the world.

Now I'm here. Not in a dorm, not in dear old White Hall but on my own block, 19th and Diamond, 5 blocks from the site of campus in the heart of North Philly. What did I get myself into? Yes, I'm in love with my room and I'm happy with our second floor home and the familiar faces of my roommates but what I've come to realize is.. not just a part of my life is missing, a HUGE part.. I don't even know what to do with myself after classes anymore.. I've realized how much more of a loner I am, how much more I'm on my own... there's always pros and cons. I like being alone for the most part, thank God. But I do get lonely, I miss my boyfriend being right by my side.

Monday.. new classes began. Not til 1 o' clock!!! I wasn't aware of that but I was thankful. This is what my day consisted of: wake up. eat breakfast. take shower. get ready. turn everything off. lock bedroom door. lock apartment door. lock building door. lock front building door. um yeah. 4 freaking doors to lock behind me, that's not gonna get old or anything. then I walk 5 blocks to campus, then another few blocks to class. History. Hour break. Mosaic I. Go home. And unlock all 4 doors and lock them behind me. whew. Not to mention all this under the city sun, sweating my butt off.
Evening = not knowing what to do considering comcast had an 'outage' in the area. great.

Tuesday.. class at 11 until 330... on a normal day. no breaks. yay for 3-hour studio drawing classes.
luckily I had a friend drive me through the ghetto to the nearest fedex station to pick up my psychology book which wasn't even the right book. also great.

Wednesday.. same classes as monday... then with an added bonus of an hour break after mosaic then my psychology night class for 2 1/2 hourssssss. only once a week. so quite a long day today.. i'm just glad to be back in my lovely, wonderful bed typing away.

that's how it's been going so far... plus missing my favorite person alive to death, oxymoron. & goodnight.

Lady of Shalott

What a poem. Descriptive and intense. How much I wish to relate...
from the analysis.. the Lady is tired of looking at life only as a reflection. That's how I seem to feel, nothing is really my own, just the same as everyone else's... and I want to be me and remember who I was.


Also, in the Greek myth, Penelope, the wife of Ulysses, avoided men who wanted to court her while her husband was away by constantly weaving, but then unravelling her work at night so that she would never be done. This is an appropriate allusion because both Penelope and the Lady of Shalott use their craft as a substitute for human involvement. Strangely, the Lady does not know why she has to avoid direct interaction, nor does she seem to care.


Human involvement and direct interaction. Here comes the artwork... that will take up my time.. and never be finished ;)

Summer

For the past 2 months or so my summer has been that of a younger me... without work, without any sort of responsibility besides babysitting and cleaning and working on things for my own satisfaction..

My morning consists of sleeping in, waking up, getting on the computer, finally getting out of bed, eating some kind of breakfast (usually cereal), then turning on the tv and watching none other than yes, Spongebob Squarepants. And after a little bit of the tube... I finally go get some things done, whether it's painting furniture, cleaning the house, packing, or spending time with D (on a short work day for him of course).

Eventually it's lunch time, a late lunch that is since my day began around 10 or 11. My lunch usually consists of a Katie Wolf turkey sandwich with chips, water with ice, and that's about it. Never gets old. After that some time I finally shower, get clean and attempt to look acceptable to go out of the house. Then my evenings are usually spent with my lover whether we're playing tennis, watching shark week, relaxing, sippin on drinks, taking a walk, babysitting together, etc.

And that's been the majority of my summer. Relaxation and laziness at its finest. Besides the fact that I've barely made a cent this summer, I'm pretty ok with it. I don't need much. College expenses have been good to me, tuition at least. And I've factored that with my apartment and groceries, it's the same amount of money as the dorms and meal plan last year... so after my parents deal with this year. I'm making it easy to the extreme for them next year. They deserve that. Millersville... cheapo. Living at home? cheapest. There's no breaking the bank there. Although I will need a car... and I deserve that haa. Maybe there will be a car with a cd player, air conditioning, and no ghetto looking side doors in my future.. just maybe. And I figure once I live at home, I will acquire a stable, better job where I can attempt to save every drop of money I get. For the rest of my life that is...

There's my plan that I've conjured up throughout my seemingly-worthless summer days...
A few more years of dependence until I break free for real, no matter where that may be.

Eat. Pray. Love.

      Simple, simple words with so much meaning behind them. Yes, I went to see the film with my girlfriends and yea, of course, I knew I would be inspired. The sites and smells of Rome, the serenity and peace of India, and the adventure and romance of Bali. What a wonderful journey, someone else's journey. Although, one day, I hope those places become a part of mine, for now it made me focus on my own present journey... and that is taking me back to Philadelphia at the heart of north philly... home sweet 19th and diamond. 
      The return of school couldn't come at a better time I suppose.. for awhile I was dreading it with my entire being, but now I'm seeing it in a whole new light. I'm ready for a change of place, a change of pace, a change of people, a change of surroundings, a change of home... I'm ready for a routine, for focusing on what's important. I'm so sick of the drama of the summer, the drama that my so-called friends conjure up. I'm so done with high school, I'm so done with the attitudes of that age, of that scene. Why can't people let it go? 
       I've finally learned to stand up for myself and tell people like it is. And it's about time... I was half-depressed last semester because I couldn't let myself out or express myself to my roommate. But everything is going to change this year, it already has. I know what I'm aiming for this year and what I'm aiming for next year, I know who I want to be, not necessarily 'what' I want to be. And that's fine. I know who I want to be with me on my journey, the people that are happy to see me happy and the people that I appreciate to have in my life.
        So cheers... to a new year of college in a new home with a new outlook, attitude, and style.


I am blessed.

Clarity

             Somehow everything is always clearer in words... more thought-out, more structured, more to-the-point and almost more convincing. It's been a rough week or so with more hurtles than imagined. Ridiculous, unrealistic situations you could only find in cheesy movies or teenage 'novels' and with more serious and wild emotions you could only truly feel in reality. Conflict and confusion, self-consciousness, pride, desperation, shock... love. Should it be easy to love? If it were why would the real thing be worth it? How do you know that you're truly putting someone else before yourself? It's extremely difficult to not be biased. How do you know how to react, to be the non-condemning friend or show how you selfishly really feel because they want to see how you're effected as well? So overwhelming, every single process, every thought and every question, it's no wonder, as humans, we get overloaded mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when so many uncalled-for bumps pop up along the way.
              The only thing you can be completely sure of is how you, yourself, feel. And for some people, more so than others, being completely sure of yourself is a rarity, especially for me. Being one of the most indecisive and apathetic people I know, it's extraordinary when I feel 100% about something, especially a feeling, or moreover, a person. I have learned a lot throughout my experimental and blessed 19 years of life. Enough to know how I feel and why and how I come to that decision. I completely believe that everything happens for a reason and that if one minor detail was changed, I wouldn't be where I am today. And where I am is where I'm happy, the happiest I have been in my entire life with many people to thank for that.
             I'm going to college because it's what I've always had planned for myself to accomplish, I'm aiming to be an art teacher because of the incredible background and influential moments and people that I've had in my life. I'm experiencing my own apartment in Philadelphia to become more independent and perceive everything in a new and more responsible light. I get to enjoy an extremely laid back summer in a home where I've never felt more comfortable or at home since december where I can relax and have the people that matter in my life join me. I have friends that I feel comfortable sharing how I actually feel and know that they will understand and be there for me, because we've made it this far. As well as a family that still remains under one roof as tough as it may be because of our differences... 
             And last but not least, I have someone who means the world to me. Someone who has taught me what it is to love, to care, and to truly understand someone else. A 16 yr. old girl's crush, that turned into an infatuation, which turned into a fairy tale, which turned into reality, which turned into love. Real love. I have never wanted so much for someone else in my whole life, I believe that many aspects of my personality and my antics have matured over even the past 9 months since reaching college and independence. I'm not a silly high school girl who hurts people because she can anymore, and I haven't been for awhile now. I have learned how to forgive others, as well as myself, because that's really what this life is about. Laying down your pride, knowing you're no better than anyone else, owning up to your flaws. I've been humbled by love through someone I love, deeply love and care about and couldn't imagine losing. I'm satisfied and I'm happy and it's enough.